And Your Starter for Ten...
1. My uncle once: I don't have any.
2. Never in my life have I: Punched anyone, though I have been sorely tempted.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: My mum.
4. School is: The worst time of your life.
5. When I'm nervous: I pace.
6. The last time I cried was: At my God-mother's funeral.
7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: I'm not having any of that nonsense.
10. When I was 5: The world seemed much bigger.
11. Last Christmas I: Cooked, ate and drank too much.
12. When I turn my head left, I see: Some plastic fish.
13. When I turn my head right, I see: A photo of Ollie Reed looking pleased with himself holding a pint of beer.
14. When I look down I see: A well-thumbed copy of "Advanced RenderMan", a mug of tea, an origami nesting crane and a wooden teaspoon.
15. The craziest recent event was: What is it about John Prescott that the ladies love so much?
16. If I was a character on Friends I'd be: Never seen it; dunno.
17. By this time next year: I shall not be a year wiser.
18. My favorite Aunt is: Don't have any of them either.
19. I have a hard time understanding: People who are proud of being ignorant.
20. One time at a family gathering: My grandmother loudly asked my great aunt if she would like, "some more sour wine, Ethel?" It was a rather good Burgundy and my dad was not impressed.
21. You know I "like" you if: Well it would probably be pretty obvious, I don't think I'm especially subtle. I am male after all. What an odd question.
22. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is: My agent. I don't have one but it's the done thing isn't it?
23. Take my advice: Do what your heart tells you, not your head.
24. My ideal breakfast is: bacon, sausage, egg, Staffordshire oatcake, black pudding, tomato, mushroom and beans with lots of tea.
25. If you visit my hometown: You can see the Rolls Royce Silver Starlight Ballroom and bugger all else.
26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon: Cookham, Japan, Melbourne, Cornwall, Hawksmoor.
27. If you spend the night at my house: I wouldn't be at all surprised.
28. I'd stop my wedding: Yes I would, I don't really believe in them you see.
29. The world could do without: Wasps
30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Lick the bellies of two cockroaches. What is this, "I'm a Non-Entity, Get Me Out of Here"?
31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself: a soldering iron and some needle-nose pliers; I really know how to spoil myself, don't I?
32. Most recent thing someone else bought for you: A beautiful book about the green man.
33. My favorite blonde is: Lauren Bacall
34. My favorite brunette is: Betty Page or Diana Rigg
35. And by the way: Life is very very good.
36. The last time I was high: My attorney has advised me not to answer this question.
37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: I'm going to cheat and say penguins. I know they're birds but it seems so unfair that they can't soar majestically.
38. I shouldn't have: Eaten that entire tub of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. But I couldn't help it.
39. Once, at a bar: I spent an entire evening talking to a beautiful singer whose phone number I then lost on my way home.
40. Last night: I saw a great film with some lovely people.
41. There's this girl I know who: has double jointed thumbs. It's quite revolting.
42. This guy I know: Took a table-football set around the world.
43. A better name for me would be: Ralph (as in "Rafe" not "Ralf").
44. If I ever go back to school I'll: have failed miserably.
45. How many days until my birthday?: Too many.
I like quizzes like this; they act as little time capsules of your thoughts and attitudes at a particular moment and that pleases me.